承担责任的重要性承担责任的重要性和意义

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上海中考英语145（助力高中）免费助力上海学生中考英语达成145分以上，重点突破与达成以下目标：
1.听说测试达到满分（复述与表达），
2. 写作达到A档18分以上
3. 听力语法词汇阅读达到扣分2分以内
4. 为高中四大题型打基础（翻译与概要写作、语法填空，词汇填空和完形填空）
提示：
（1）上海中考听说测试2023年开始将从目前的10分增加到15-20分，用来筛选学生的意图更明显。
（2）上海初中英语从2023年开始将改版，目前用了将近20年的牛津教材将成为历史，而高中教材已于2020年率先改版，对学生的能力要求更上一个台阶。
今天开始发几位基础薄弱初三学生的作文修改（坐标：杨浦区内最底层的学校之一，定位：100-110）
只有同辈作文，才能深有感触；只有对比原文和我的修改稿，才能懂得写作之道。请珍惜最最最干货！
Take responsibility is important

修改前：
Take responsibility is important. My grandfather had a serious illness last year. It's a difficult time for my family. One day my grandmother was looking after my grandfather in the hospital. My mum was working. I had to stay home for a whole day. The floor is dirty and the rooms are messy. So I decided to clean the room by myself. First, clean my room and my desk. It cost me about fifteen minutes. Next, it took me twenty minutes to swept the floor and clean the living room. I emptied the rubbish bin at least. When my mum came back and saw that she was very surprised. At that time I realized I was no longer a child. I'm a teenage. It's time to take more responsibility for our family is important.

修改后
Last year, my grandfather was badly ill and had to stay in hospital for several weeks. It was a difficult time for my family because my mother, who did all the housework , was looking after my grandfather in the hospital. After a few days, the floor became dirty and all the rooms were in a mess. Seeing this, I decided to do a big clean-up by myself. Although it took me about two hours to sweep the floor and clean all the rooms , I felt a sense of achievement when I saw all the things were in order again. When I emptied the rubbish bins full of rubbish. At last, I knew taking care of a family is not easy. I was big enough to do something for it. When my mother came back and saw that, she was very proud of having such an understanding son. At that time, I realized that it's mportant for me to share more responsibility in our family. It not only helps my family share the hard work but also makes me more mature and responsible.

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